For a Couple Million

3 May 2005 17:35:05

If I had all the money in the world…or at least a few extra million laying around, I’d start my own cellular pone company. First of all, there would be no contracts. You’d pay for service on a month by month basis and get a discount depending on hour many months you paid for in advance. Depending on the necessity of daytime versus night and weekend minutes, I’d either do away with the separation completely or I’d at least make nights and weekends run from 6 p.m. to 8 a.m. instead of the usual 9 to 7. Then there’s the whole deal with customer service…I’d make sure that my customers were treated like their grandmother treats them on their birthday.

And the damn phones that these huge companies keep pumping out. My company would actually carry its own line of phones. Phones that work, phones that aren’t designed by some engineer who has never actually used the thing, phones that actually stand up to more than a years worth of abuse, phones that have the needed and functional features of a phone, not a camera, mp3 player, ringtone jukebox, text messenger, flash light, can opener and Swiss Army Knife—just a really good phone. Oh and rebates—they’d be a thing of the past. You’d be able to purchase my phones and plans for a reasonable price, not dependant on a ridiculous rebate or yearly contract pricing scale.

In short, I’d be the perfect cell phone provider. But alas, I have no extra millions lying around. I guess I’m stuck with the long contracts, lousy service, cheap phones that I paid too much for, and the rebates I’ll never see from some huge provider who cares not for me but rather for my money.